There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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