im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
