I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
