You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
