So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
