Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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