there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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