Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
