It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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