If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
