some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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