yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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