My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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