What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
