Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
