My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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