Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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