We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
