does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just invented taco cereal.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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