Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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