so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize