Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
