; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
one might say we're banned from that church
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
