The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
a search helicopter?!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
