Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
