I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
