Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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