Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
