are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
