"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
