end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
