I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
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I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
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I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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