i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
