I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
