We're facebook friends in real life
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?