I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.