The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
grandma shit on top of the toilet
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
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Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
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he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
this hospital has no fireball
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it