Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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