The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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