Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
