So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
