I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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