So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
