Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
