Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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