The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize