yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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