Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra