I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.