By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
