Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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