I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
