I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
