did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
