i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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