i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
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downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
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I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize