I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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