I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
