So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
