so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
