Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
her vagine was all disorganized.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
