i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
