so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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