I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
