I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
